Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Taylor's List

Sloppy seconds may not be your first choice, but let's face it: at some point we're all going to have to date one of Taylor Swift's exes.

Here's the menu:

Harry Styles
This tiny dancer charms with the accent and the singing and the hair but is somewhat of a womanizing prodigy at the tender age of 18.  Since the recent end of Haylor, he may be looking for a rebound. Ladies?

Conor Kennedy
Not much is known about Kennedy expect his entire family history. This one is a little bit more of an investment. Once he's a couple years out of high school he will likely be much more handsome.

(As a side-note it's important to remember how attractive Conor Kennedy's cousin, Patrick Arnold Shriver Schwarzenegger is.)

Jake Gyllenhaal
Since they are never ever ever getting back together, Jake is fair game!  His worst offenses seem to be listening indie music and taking a scarf or something.  He is very attractive.

Taylor Lautner
Remember Taylor squared?  It was a while ago now, so maybe not. Remember that werewolf's abs?  I thought so.

John Mayer
BREAKING: John Mayer has cut his hair recently and no longer looks like Jack White's evil (inexplicably cowboy?) twin. However, he is dating Katy Perry.

Joe Jonas
The Jo Bro's are all grown-up! Joe was one of Taylor's first very public relationships but this brother has aged well since.

Is Nick Jonas next?  Swifty has been swiftly straying younger, and at 20 he's well within her date-safe zone.

My best guess for T's next BF/future-ex is Reeve Carney, a fellow singer-songwriter and star of the I Knew You Were Trouble music video.  They have met after all.

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